Wednesday 10 June 2009
Work Character (1)
This guy is like the classic Mr. Bean character, cranked up to a special level of the grotesque. This morning he is walking round to the passenger side of the car, doing something there, while his brief case still sits on the ground on the passenger side. Whatever he is doing, it is footery enough that despite being out of his car before me, I am still at the back door of the building well before he is. Everyone walks rounds the path from the car park to the security door, but as I swipe my pass through the reader, I glance to the right, and there he is – striding across the grass, which will have involved a clamber over a hill, and taking a path no one else takes. And it gets me to thinking about this strange man. Yesterday, he was coming in behind me, on the path, a great big handkerchief at his nose, trumpeting like a dying elephant, like an elephant dying of some vile and excessively viscous plague. The sort of sound you really want to take a stick to keep him at bay while shouting – go home! You are too ill!
His car is a small thing. An old thing. A kind of car they don’t make anymore. Not quite one of those clichéd 3 wheeled things, but it looks like it got that fourth wheel under false pretences. It’s tiny, old, rusting, blue. One day the boss said he was coming in on the motorway, and there was this car in front of him, it was all over the road. He could see the driver, who seemed to be twitching and spasming like a man possessed. A hazard to all around him the boss insisted, so he was horrified when this tiny, old, rusting, blue car came off where he did, took the turns he did, parked in same car park as he did. As you see the guy wander around you see those little twitches – the “mannerisms”. He is a tall man, with great bulbous belly, like someone who is ex-forces gone to seed some time ago. His hair has a peculiar shade, a peculiar texture; it only seems to cover peculiar parts of his head – is it real? The speculation is that its not. But if you were going to wear a hair piece, surely you would get one that covered more than that?
His car is a small thing. An old thing. A kind of car they don’t make anymore. Not quite one of those clichéd 3 wheeled things, but it looks like it got that fourth wheel under false pretences. It’s tiny, old, rusting, blue. One day the boss said he was coming in on the motorway, and there was this car in front of him, it was all over the road. He could see the driver, who seemed to be twitching and spasming like a man possessed. A hazard to all around him the boss insisted, so he was horrified when this tiny, old, rusting, blue car came off where he did, took the turns he did, parked in same car park as he did. As you see the guy wander around you see those little twitches – the “mannerisms”. He is a tall man, with great bulbous belly, like someone who is ex-forces gone to seed some time ago. His hair has a peculiar shade, a peculiar texture; it only seems to cover peculiar parts of his head – is it real? The speculation is that its not. But if you were going to wear a hair piece, surely you would get one that covered more than that?
# posted by remotepush @ 09:19 
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